Do You Want the Job? Make a Friend.

I hate to be the master of the obvious, but having interviewed thousands of candidates over several years, I have found that most people either do not get this point, or they get it, but they just are not very good at it. As is the case in the selling profession, priority number one when meeting a new prospect (potential employer in this situation) is to build rapport, or make a friend.  There is basically nothing more important if you want to get hired.

It is as simple as this. Hiring managers are going to hire people they like. If they like you it is going to influence them. If faced with two choices, and let's say you actually have less relevant experience than another candidate, the hiring manager is likely going to pick you if they liked you better, even though the other candidate was more qualified. HirA professional recruiting association promoting best practices in recruiting.ing managers will pick the candidate they feel most comfortable with and whom they envision a nice working relationship.

Building rapport and making friends with everyone you meet during an interview is critical, including administrative assistants, security, Human Resources, everyone. When they are huddled together after you have left or turning in interview evaluations, 9 out of 10 times the person who was the most well liked gets the nod. Well that is not fair you might say. Why is that? As part of any job, the ability to work well in a cohesive environment with other team members is critical and part of any job description, whether written or not. A smart manager knows that he or she can teach someone a specific skill if they have the basic aptitude, education, or background, but they are not going to be able to, or be interested in, teaching someone how to be likable.

Personally, I can tell within minutes of meeting someone for an interview who understands the importance of making a friend, and those who may not see this as a priority. It is easy to guess after meeting many candidates for a particular job which one will be the last one standing. As usual, it was the one who was most liked and who everyone felt the most comfortable with.

Think about this from a salesperson / potential buyer standpoint. You are not likely going to buy something from someone you do not like, right? When you are in an interview with a company you are selling a product and service, you. With sales meetings, a good salesperson would never think of just sitting down with a potential customer and then immediately start rattling off features and benefits of the product without first building rapport. Good salespeople know that people are going to buy from people they like, trust, and feel comfortable with.

I certainly believe that most people would agree that you want to be liked, and that this would be a benefit, but I am just not sure many people are very good at it. In life, studying how to be a likable, sharp, positive, influential, and motivating person should be as important as studying a specific skill. Of all of the valuable and useful things that could be taught in high school or college, this should be a core course requirement, but it is never discussed. So how do you do it? It is a little too big of a topic to cover thoroughly here, but I can give some basic items to think about.

Remember, you are selling you and all of your features and benefits. No matter how uncomfortable or awkward it may be, the number one thing you need to do is to force, if necessary, conversation with this person you have just met. If the initial greeting does not flow into this naturally, a great way to find something to talk about is to look around the person's office or desk. Is there something, anything, that you could say, hey, that's a neat pen holder, did you get that at the Grand Canyon? Or, that is a nice picture, were you on vacation? Look for something to compliment them on, or something you can ask a question about. Be sincere though in whatever you say, because if you are not, it will show. Practice it with your family or friends. You should practice this as much as you practice interview answers.

Talking during an interview is of course important, versus being a dead log, but do not overdo it. You will not appear favorable if you sit down and just start blathering, although I guess it is better than the opposite of not saying one word. You have met the type that does not know how to be quiet, usually due to confidence issues or nerves, so they just talk and talk more and it is usually regarding their favorite topic, themselves. That is a huge turnoff and it wears the other person out. So the key is to get the other person talking about themselves. You do this by asking questions. When you talk, the spotlight is on you, and when they talk, the spotlight is on them, which is where you want it.


There are many resources available on the topic of relationship building, but if nothing else, remember to invest no less than five minutes of small talk when you meet someone for the first time. It does not sound like a lot, but it can seem like forever. If you do not do this, you are putting yourself at a disadvantage. You must build rapport no matter how uncomfortable it may seem. If you do not, all of the effort to get the interview could be for nothing. It is really that important. If nothing else, just be low key but enthusiastic, ask questions, and smile.