Can You Guess the Occupation?

Job Title: ?????

Position Background:
Interestingly, this did not start out as an occupation, but became one over time. It was originally a part-time gig, you might say. The original employees were not even looking for a paycheck. Over time, it started to become a job and a means to a living. You might say the problems that began occurring with this occupation started when it became a career. The origins of the occupation do go back hundreds of years. It is not the oldest profession, but some say it has striking similarities in many aspects to what is consider the oldest. You can find a lot of research and relevant details about the foundation and nature of the position, and many of the original employees, but you probably won't. There was a time when schools taught you about these people, but I am not sure that happens much any more.

Position Description:
At its core, the job is to protect the company and protect the people within it. This role has expanded over time to the point where it is basically out of control. Your co-workers have lost focus for various reasons. You will not concern yourself with this, however. Regarding co-workers, you will not have to get along or collaborate with them. Do not worry about this as it is just how it has always been and will always be. You pick your side and that's that.

You will not make a product in this position. It is mostly a service type position. You will have customers, but you will not have to listen to the majority of them. Mostly, you are working with and are trying to appease a small group of customers that are the loudest. Unnecessary attention is something you desperately do not want and you will go to great lengths, including selling out your other customer's interestes, in order to avoid it. Avoiding negative attention will in fact will be an all consuming mission for you.

Although many of your potential customers want nothing to do with you, except to handle the core basics, like protection and a system for settling disputes, you will never buy into this. You will believe that you need to show people you are doing something in your job, when in fact stopping your aggressive involvement into everything is how you can help the most. You will have the mentality that people want what you are selling and that they need you. Your top potential customers don't need you. Some people will naturally become customers of your services due to aggressive marketing and the strong pull of something for nothing, even though the evidence is overwhelming that it leads to a path of needing more and a long life of dependency and mediocrity. What you will be offering is not top shelf services. You might say the grade level is low and customers can do much better on their own if they make a real effort.

Unlike most occupations and businesses, you do not need to be concerned with what you bring in revenue-wise, and what you spend. In fact, accumulating debt is a given and you dare never ask the question out loud while spending, at whose expense? If you need more revenue, you will have your ways, but it is never really enough, and never will be to many. For many, being responsible adults and saying no to more spending and debt, just won't happened. You will be too afraid to make someone angry or not be liked. You will continue on this path until the company is basically sunk. Your customers will be tapped out and you will become like all of the other companies across the Atlantic.

What you will need to do is to learn how to talk a good game. You need to make things seem as they are not. It is called spin. You will need to learn slogans and sayings that might appeal to the masses of potential customers, who are not very aware and will never really check your premises. You do not have to worry about marketing and PR. Some of you will have almost an entire media industry working on your behalf. You just need to feed them the sound bites and product information that they will gladly distribute to the unsuspecting buyer.

You will not be problem solving and you will not have to make tough decisions in this position. You will give the allusion of doing so, but your savvy customers know better. They know, and history clearly confirms it, that your involvement in other industries and business directly correlates with its ultimate demise. You will not solve problems, just make them worse. You will come into the job with delusions of staying firm and doing the right thing, but you will find the forces to be too great. Like the rest, you will fall in line.

Job Requirements:
You do not need any specific training or education. You don't even need to start at the bottom and work your way up. You also do not need previous experience in any other field. Some do, but it is not required. A background that would be the most useful would be in some form of business endeavor, like building something from nothing. You will rarely find this among your co-workers, however.

Pay and Benefits:
This occupation pays very well, benefits are outstanding, perks are unmatched, and the pension is glorious. Vacation time starts immediately (no accruing like most jobs) and it is for several weeks per year. If you need a raise, it will be left in you and your co-worker's hands to decide on the amount. Really.

Application:
If you would like to apply for this politician job, the openings come often and they are everywhere. Remember, the original members did a spectacular job of devising a system that has brought untold prosperity to those who have taken advantage of it. They implemented a system that has resulted in progress unmatched as compared to any other economic system and government. We ask that you do not continue to unravel this progress. We ask that you do not continue to undo that which we fought so hard for many years ago.

These original members were often hard working farmers, businessmen, entrepreneurs, skilled craftsman, and inventors. You could say that their occupations, and the mentality it developed, is what brought them together. This group was made up of people with unmatched vision, passion, and strong beliefs. They were principled people and without question the greatest thinkers in the history of man. If this is you, please apply immediately.